I had two reactions to this video, and the first was “Hehehe… Look at his little ears all back! Clever cat.” Before I share the second, I have a few sample comments from its YouTube thread:

“ferocious little tigers”

” ‘Thanks for holding the steak for me!’ Hahaha”

“i didnt think anything of this clip but then when i saw one of them dig his claws into the others eye while this fuckwit was obviously just standing there…”

“those 3 pussys on 1 piece of meat reminded me of this fun night i had…”

“Coming up next: 3 Nigerians, 1 Steak”

“Couldn’t the stupid owner divide the fucking steak in 3 pieces? what’s the fun on stressing animals and posting a video about it?… WTF!”

Besides the lack of punctuation and inevitable internet racism, I was put in mind of – and this post is turning very quotey indeed – a quote from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, “Allah loves wondrous variety.” Truly, the internet is a miraculous place for all and sundry to share their views! It unfailingly reminds me how little I’m capable of empathising with certain humans. I’m more than equipped to have a rich debate about whether it’s right to use animals for entertainment, yet of all these sample comments I find it hardest to understand the ones expressing outrage. Yes, you may be right that it’s wrong, but can’t you see how hilarious it is?

My second reaction was that, at the start of the video, the two cats struggling for the steak are actually experiencing a sort of prisoner’s dilemma. If either of them seeks to attack the other, or even cat #3 (Clever Cat), and succeeds, then the remaining cat will make off with the meat. However, the struggling cats can’t wait forever because Clever Cat is munching their reward. Therefore the logical solution is to forego ultimate victory and team up with the other struggling cat to defeat Clever Cat and divide the meal 50:50. But they can’t cooperate because they’re cats! Ha ha ha! …*Sigh*.

In case you missed Muammar’s vituperative speech at the UN General Assembly a couple of days ago, here’s a quick summary. It gives a blow-by-schizotypal-blow account of his brain-slugs, including questioning the record on the Kennedy assassination and the origin of swine flu, without you having to hear the oratory that exhausted three translators. I expect no different from the old man… The last time he made use of the UN it was in an attempt to ban Switzerland after his son Hannibal assaulted a pair of hotel workers in Geneva.

I pulled this off of Foreign Policy, where it’s explained that Hamas has accused Israel of tampering with chewing gum and allowing it to cross the border into Gaza in a diabolical scheme to enhance the sex drives of the locals.

And this is why I keep a box in my head marked “Stupid Things Said in the 3^rd World”. Into this box I toss the propositions that the AIDS pandemic is a Western plot to prevent us from having sex, and that the WHO polio vaccine is designed to make us sterile… Because then I can compartmentalise my brain and I needn’t spent time trying to make sense of things that probably never will make sense. In my spare time (spare thinking time, that is, because so much of my time is spare time), I open up the box and ponder its contents, transporting myself into a wonderful world of intrigue and guile. Very exciting – very exciting – to consider that it’s all possible. The West could indeed be fighting a pervasive Fourth Generation War against key political targets, using novel and outlandish means to create paranoia, dissonance and social instability. The powers that be would maintain global hegemony by winning the war of ideas, while simultaneously disabling poor societies from pulling themselves out of the gutter. So where can I sign up?! I’m full of nefarious plots to compete for world domination! Sigh. Then I close the box, realising that if something’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t.

My sense of humour was clearly underdeveloped at the time, because when I re-watched the show the other day, I suddenly realised that it was filled to the brim with innuendo and word-play that I could not possibly have grasped at the age of eleven. I felt as though I had discovered something new and exciting even though it had been right under my nose the entire time.

And, as much as everybody loves Pinky and the Brain, I am just as fond of another long-lost Animaniacs classic which I feel is under-appreciated: Chicken-Boo. Maybe this proves that my sense of humour is as underdeveloped as ever.

Never say I don’t entertain you. Or I’ll kill you. And your family. Kidding. This video is not exciting – title’s an example of hyperbole, folks – but it is very illustrative. I was doing serious business today so I decided to make a serious post and now you too can explain the Crisis of Credit to all your friends… I’ve been there, done that and gotten the t-shirt.

**Yes, I am aware that this joke is weak, but I am tired and I don’t care. Perhaps I should be writing about apathy.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

This article reminds me of a friend of mine. Here is a quote I found especially interesting:

“Mayhew has failed to commit to several other vague ideas that have flitted across his mind in recent years, including the possibility of taking courses in bicycle repair, gardening, pottery, “How to Quit Smoking in 30 Days,” bird-watching, model shipbuilding, and Tai Chi.”