I ask myself every day, is it the future yet? …That’s a lie, of course. But I used to, until I stopped after seeing Lady Gaga’s music video for Poker Face. I took that as a sure sign The Future had arrived. Considering we’re here though, in the formerly not-so-distant future of 2009 (pronounced in sci-fi as twenty-o-nine), I’m confounded by how we could make things very futuristic if we chose to, but instead choose not to. Anyway, last night I was out at the weekly quiz and walked into the bathroom to take a ‘pēs. What did I find? Televisions above the urinals!
This is probably old hat for the rest of you but it’s a big deal for me. Now, I’m opposed to urinals in general because – sure, they’re convenient and I’m not sure if I’d have the coordination for anything else after a few drinks – they stand in the way of Ally McBeal-style unisex bathrooms in which we could all sing Barry White. So ‘twas a majestic sight. There were three urinals, two with TVs tuned to Formula One and one with young, nubile, anorexic gymnastics girls. All I can say is: thank goodness I was alone. F1 gets me rock h–
Kidding. It was interesting to me though that the middle TV had the gymnastics channel. Every man knows that his urinal must be chosen to respectfully, but not ridiculously, maximise buffer zone. With three urinals it’s easy; if there’re two men, they will occupy the outer two urinals. Why then make the most appealing TV station above the urinal least likely to be used? Because it was unintentional? Or did management hate the idea of a “best” urinal, which would get all the traffic, and thus devised an etiquette cost for parking in front of the TV with the haute girls? Ever heard of micromanagement? Hmm? Scrumptious food for thought.
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