So, thingy won the whatever season of SA Idols the other day. That’s about the extent of the impression that the whole thing made on me. I honestly couldn’t pick the winner out of a lineup. She (or, possibly, he) is sure to be the next big thing. Just like Heinz, what’s-her-face and the fat thirty-something with the annoying voice. Superstars, each and every one of them.
I was honestly shocked when I switched on my television a few weeks ago to hear the top 12 performers of this year’s competition butchering a number of well-loved classics. No, my ears were not deceiving me, this was NOT the bloopers reel. Was this really the best singing talent that SA had to offer?
Now, I do realise that there are still plenty of teenage girls whose lives revolve around the show, which is why I will concede that it is not a total waste of time… for the producers… as a means of making money. But as an exercise in discovering raw talent and moulding it into something to IDOLISE, it is a complete sham. Two months from now (or, more likely, two weeks from now) the hype will be over and poor little… let’s call her “Girl X” for the sake of simplicity… will be a thing of the past. The 0.05% of her “loyal fans” who are actually willing to spend money on Girl X’s single (most of whom still refer to their income as “pocket money”), will have bought it and will now know the lyrics off-by-heart, probably even better than she does. And she will begin touring the country like a true pop-star, performing in such classy joints as the Kolonnade Shopping Centre in Pretoria. Audience members will come, because they do not have a choice. Saturday morning shopping is mandatory for many.
Now, what I am trying to work out is this: do I hate Idols because I am no longer 16 years old, or do I hate it because it really is a terrible show? After giving it some thought, I feel quite comfortable saying that it is the latter, because I am still able to tolerate a lot of other trashy reality shows without wanting to impale myself.
So, Girl X, enjoy your fifteen minutes while they last. I’m sure I will hear your voice on Jacaranda 94.2 for many years to come. And wasn’t that your dream from the start?
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I entirely agree. Did you see that Heinz Winckler has picked up a role on Binnelanders? Nothing like a good crossover. Pickings at Atterbury Value Mart must be getting slim.
Totally agree. Boring wannabes for challenged viewers. People need to get a life. I think Idols have had one too many seasons.