Yes, that’s right, I have seen the new Star Trek movie. I went with my good friends Kyle and Laurence. Although Laurence is a major “Trek Fag”, he enjoyed the movie a lot, as did I. Well, not as much as Kyle and him, but still, considering how much I loathe the entire Star Trek franchise, I was pleasantly surprised.
Well I wasn’t surprised at all really, considering the amount of media hype that preceded this latest incarnation. In fact I would have to say I was somewhat disappointed. Yes, the effects were great and the story, although almost completely un-followable, was not bad.
But that Russian guy, played by the weed from that movie where he sells prescription medication to depressed teens, was pathetic. I have seen better acting by Will I Am in Wolverine. Maybe it wasn’t the acting (although it helped considerably). The problem was his terrible Russian accent. It was truly horrific. In fact, it ruins the entire movie. It sounds like an over-enthusiastic school child trying to do his best at playing Lenin in an over-ambitious school play. Regardless, I am happy that I saw it.
During one of the many “Phaser” scenes I made a joke to Laurence by saying: “Don’t Tase me bro!”, to which Laurence said: “Don’t Phase me bro!” and we laughed and laughed. This was a brilliant piece of comedy that we would be able to exploit. We could make hilarious de-motivational posters out of it and people all over the Internet would slap their thighs with mirth.
But it was not to be. Apparently “Don’t Phase me bro!” has existed almost as long as “Don’t Tase me bro!” If you don’t know the origin of “Don’t Taze me bro!”, then have a look at this Encyclopaedia Dramatica article. It seems that someone, back in 2007, had already thought up the “Don’t Phase me bro!” idea. So although mine was an original thought, someone had thought it before I did. Now I don’t know what to think.
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I am not a TrekFag!
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